CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Beyond the Forum process there appears to be a need for conflict resolution. The Forum is a place to dig up thoughts and feelings and explore. Its format is not set up for argument or conversation, and it not meant to be. The Forum is great for allowing space for interpersonal work and expression. In the Forum we all have a chance to express what is usually internal to others, doing so without interruption and with the expectation of acceptance. In the process of digging we uncover discomfort with ourselves and disagreement with each other. The Forum offers a space but does not offer resolution. It is not geared towards solving problems, but only seeing the truth. Some people would say that there is no solution except through understanding. You can not change a person, for example, but you can understand them. For some people the Forum is enough because they have a chance to understand others, and they have no desire to make a person or relationship different. However, if there are changes or understandings to be made then a separate process is needed.
The suggestion before the Forum Council is for a conflict resolution meeting agreed upon and attending by choice. If person A wants to work out something with person B, then A calls B and asks if they would like to have a conversation. If B agrees they can both attend the conflict resolution meeting.
Attendance is optional, and if one chooses to attend they come with the understanding that some very tough work, possibly emotionally exhausting work, will likely occur. One may come even though they have no conflict themselves, but want to help hold space, or act as a support for a friend. It is encouraged that those who have no opinions or desires ether way to participate because their objective view can be a positive influence.
What we are protecting with this format is those sensitive people who ether do not want to be confronted or want to avoid tension between others. It is better that no one feels ambushed by other people's issues. This will help build trust in the Forum.
It is suggested that one night out of a five-week committed Forum be dedicated to this type of work. I say this so as to not tax further the coordinator and facilitator. I think that this conflict resolution meeting could, for example, fall in the third or fourth week. I am expecting that tensions will build or differences better understood in the first few weeks of the Forum, and also that the fallowing weeks may be tension-less as a result.
The members of the committed Forum choose whom will lead the conflict resolution meeting. The facilitator does need to have attended Forum.
If there is tension that exists between two people who are not involved in the same committed Forum then they can request for a special resolution meeting. The Facilitator of that meeting is chosen and agreed upon by the parties involved.
After a Conflict resolution meeting is set up in each committed Forum then the council meetings and facilitators trainings can be reserved for their intended and stated purposes. At this point personal stuff can still be present, but it is not made into a focus for resolution in meetings. It is hoped that tensions will be relieved on a whole scale so that the many are not overwhelmed by the problems of the few and that there can be a greater trust that the Forum is a safe place for everyone. Those willing to go deeper, and want to create greater understanding, can now do so with time and space dedicated to that.
